Piecing Our Hearts Back Together
by WorstCaseScenario
Summary: Something has gone wrong and now there are more than two who is going to suffer from the after effects. Mpreg. couldnt resist the temptation of a chibi
1. What About Now

Chapter 1: What About Now

_For all my life I am your__s_

The night had settled over Konoha followed by a cool breeze, which chased away the hot summer day, making the citizens relieved. The rooftops were disturbed by an occasionally flicker from the shinobis moving to or from the big gate of the city. They didn't pay attention to the barks from alleys or the shouts from empty streets. Konoha was a big city and never went completely silent. They were all watched by the great stone faces of the five Hokages, but like the group of people walking by one of the tall building complexes close to the ninja academy, they didn't pay attention to the single open window on the third floor.

It was a two-bedroom apartment with an unusual big kitchen and bathroom. The living room consisted of three low tables placed haphazardly around the room, with the floor filled with fluffy cushions and pillows. One of the walls was one big bookshelf, which was almost bursting with scrolls, books and knickknacks. The opposite wall was dedicated to pictures and photographs, some in frames and some plastered on the wall with tape. The colour of the wall was light sand giving a peaceful atmosphere even in the dim light. The kitchen, to the left, with it's cupboards and counters of thick cherry wood was old but well kept. If you opened one of the cupboards you would see that no plate, bowl or glass was alike. They all stood on their decided places, feeling unique. The kitchen table had soft curves on the legs, carved with leafs. The three chairs didn't match each other or the table. Like everything else the bathroom was a unique creation with its multi-coloured tiles and big-framed mirror. The whole apartment had a feel of comfort and security.

There was no sign of the new occupant, yet, and for now the place was big enough. The two lay sleeping in the bedroom where one of the walls was completely bare giving freedom to admire the green forest wallpaper. The rest of the walls had a light yellow colour and against them stood a small drawer and a closet covered in animal ornaments. Under the bed was a soft carpet, which sheltered bare feet against a cold floor in winter. The open window let the night breeze stir the thin cotton curtains.

Iruka was sleeping in the middle of the big bed, tangled in the sheets that were clinging to his sweaty body, but there was something wrong and that made him grab the kunai under his pillow and place himself in an awkward crouching stand next to the bed. All adrenaline disappeared in an instant when he discovered who had entered the room. It was not a stranger and certainly not an enemy. Iruka dropped the kunai and sat back down on the bed, legs crossed. He didn't want to interfere, not yet, so he kept silent and waited. The person's attention wasn't on him, anyway, but on the sleeping newborn boy in the dolphin painted crib next to Iruka's bed. Kakashi's left hand rested on crib, his right hanging limply at his side. His masked pooled around his neck, Iruka couldn't see if he had removed the hitae ate from his eye, but he was still quite sure that both eyes were exposed. The boy was lying on his back with his small hands on either side of his head. The blanket was placed in the bottom end of the crib. It was too hot to be anything but uncomfortable.

"Have you given him a name?" Kakashi's voice was low and hoarse. He didn't sound like himself. Iruka didn't answer right away. He just watched Kakashi's profile. It had been a long time since he could do that without anyone noticing.

"Makenshi… His name is Umino Makenshi" Kakashi gave a barely visible nod. It was a name he had mentioned, Iruka had taken a liking to it, and maybe it would give Kakashi a feeling that he had contributed with something, even if it was something he just mentioned those months ago. "He has your eyes" Iruka whispered. He saw the hand on the crib tighten its grip, knuckles turning white. Maybe he shouldn't have said that but since the boy was sleeping, it wasn't a thing he could see. Iruka wanted Kakashi to know because those eyes had taken his breath away the first time he saw them, which was right after he was placed in his arms. In a way, Iruka was glad that the eyes were the only visible feature the boy had gotten from Kakashi. It was not like Kakashi was the only one with silver hair but it was still rare, and if it had been gravity defying on top of that, people would surely guess or right out know Kakashi was the father. Which was not good at all. The boy's inner strength was another matter but he was only two days old so Iruka didn't want to worry about that so soon.

"He's beautiful, Iruka", that got Iruka to look right up into mismatched eyes. "What about holding him for a while?" Iruka smiled, _please Kashi._ Kakashi looked down "he's sleeping I… I don't…" the last words disappeared but Iruka knew. "He's you son, Kashi, just this once", he knew it hurt Kakashi to hear those words, Iruka was hurting just saying them. Kakashi didn't answer, instead he hesitantly reached out to the small boy. His hands stopped mere inches from him, and Iruka almost believed he would pull back and leave but he didn't. Very carefully and gently Kakashi picked the boy up and Iruka wasn't surprised when Makenshi didn't wake up. Kakashi pulled Makenshi close to his body and buried his nose in the fine, barely-there, dark curls. Iruka heard the deep intake of breath and couldn't anything but smile. He already knew how addicted he was to the smell of his baby boy. It made his smile falter a little. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea for Kakashi to hold him after all. It was too late turning back now. Kakashi walked over to the bed, slid to the floor and rested his back against the bed. He pulled his knees up to his chest, sheltering the little body even more. No, it had not been a good idea. Iruka silently berated himself for being such an idiot. Iruka moved from his spot on the bed and sat besides Kakashi, leaning his head on a strong shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry Ruka… I'm so sorry", Iruka closed his eyes willing the tears away. He put his arms around Kakashi as best as he could, shushing him. There wasn't anything else he could do. His words would be hollow and uncertain because Iruka didn't know if it would be all right. He didn't know if they were going to make it. He didn't know if this was the first and only time Kakashi was able to hold and acknowledge Makenshi as his son. He didn't know… Iruka felt Kakashi's body shaking with silent sobs. Iruka could just tighten his grip and try to not make it worse with his own cries.

Iruka woke up, not knowing he had fallen asleep in the first place. He still had his arms around Kakashi with Kakashi's head on his shoulder. He still had the strong hold on Makenshi, who didn't seem to be aware of anything than the warmth and protection. "I have to go", Iruka swallowed loudly. He wanted to tell Kakashi to stay, just for a little while, _or forever, _but that wouldn't be fair to Kakashi. He had a feeling that if he did tell, Kakashi **would** stay and that was not an option. No, it would all go wrong if he stayed. So Iruka reluctantly let go of the dead grip he had on Kakashi. It was the signal for Kakashi to move which he did. And just like Iruka he reluctantly let go of the now three days old boy, placing him back in the crib. Those dolphins sure were cute; Kakashi wondered who had painted them. He placed a warm kiss on the little forehead and caressed a red cheek. Iruka stood up as well, suddenly unsure of what to do when he saw Kakashi's posture change. Emotions were pushed aside. Iruka couldn't let him leave like that. He grabbed Kakashi's arm when he walked past him, on his way to the window. "You can come anytime you are able or need to, you know that", Kakashi gave him a blank look, which was slightly ruined by his now two red eyes. Before Iruka could say more he was pulled into a rough and hungry kiss. He felt a possessive hand on the back of his head, making it impossible to break free. Not that he wanted to. His own hands buried themselves in Kakashi's shirt, definitely bruising the pale skin underneath. In the end it was Kakashi that broke the kiss, leaving them both breathing hard. Calloused thumps traced the lines and curves of Iruka's lips, and the soft skin under his eyes. Iruka brushed a hand through Kakashi's hair, letting his fingers tangle in the soft locks. Once again those lips devoured him and he was almost certain their hearts were beating as one. To soon, all too soon, Kakashi let go and took a step back. Iruka felt like Kakashi stood on the other side of the world and not right in front of him. He saw the longing look Kakashi gave the crib. And then it was gone. The mask was placed over the gorgeous face; hitae ate covering the sharingan once more. His lone eye giving its trademark smile. Then his turned around and went out of the open window, without looking back. Iruka's knees gave up and he landed on the floor with a small thump. He felt the tears running down his face, the room started spinning around him followed by a ringing sound buzzing inside his skull, disconnecting him from his surroundings. He vaguely heard Makenshi cry. It was not a cry for food or because he had woken up. It was a cry of loss. Kakashi had briefly filled the room with his strength making them feel safe. Loved. Iruka was sure Makenshi knew a part of him was missing. The cries became louder, almost screams.

Iruka was certain that if he had had any breath left in his body he would have done exactly the same.

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AN: Don't own Naruto or "What about Now" by Daughtry, which is very effective when you read this. It's going to last a couple of chapters but it's not going to be long. Hope you enjoyed it so far...


	2. Am I The Only One Who Finds No Peace?

Ahem... So here is Chapter 2. I would have brought it to you sooner but I forgot the damn memory thingy at my mother's place and since I live on the other side of the country it's not an easy thing to get back.

BUT... Enough of my lame excuses... just read... and maybe press a very important button and write something I want to read -

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****Chapter 2:** **Am I the only one who finds no peace?**

The sun was starting to spread its beams, greeting a new summer day. The dark and cold shadows disappeared from the forest ground, leaving behind the comfort of a cooling shade under the trees. Birds were happily chirping in the branches, they didn't notice the shinobi running beneath them.

Kakashi was running. He had to get away, somehow. He ran without infusion chakra to his feet and legs so he could feel the strain on his body. He had started running as soon as he had leaped from Iruka's window, not daring to look back. He had only been there for a couple of hours and still it had taken him all of his willpower in just lifting his head from Iruka's shoulder. Apparently the running wasn't doing what he had intended it to; it was supposed to keep his thoughts away from that place. Kakashi made himself take longer strides, the muscles in his thighs didn't like that but it was easy to ignore. He had tried worse pain than this. The ground was soft from the morning dew giving him a good footing. Kakashi instinctually avoided any obstacles that might interfere; his mind processed everything that lay in front of him in seconds making him quick to turn another way, jump or bend, unfortunately for him. He was a genius; he should have known running wouldn't work.

He had been so small, felt so fragile that Kakashi had been afraid he would break him. For a moment he had been afraid that the blood on his hands would somehow spill over that innocent creature, which made him hesitate in picking him up. But the blood had stayed where it was suppose to and all Kakashi had clutched was his son, Makenshi, _I have a son._ Kakashi ran faster. He had Iruka's dark skin and brown hair, _and my eyes or eye that is. _He was absolutely perfect but when Iruka was involved it wasn't much of a surprise. Kakashi started to feel the strain on his lungs making his breathing harsh and dry, the sweat was stinging in his eye and obscuring his vision but he didn't do anything about it. Trying to escape his own thoughts and feelings was cowardly and selfish so if it made him feel pain he was going to let it. He was the one to blame for this situation, only him. Everyday Kakashi thanked whatever high being that might be that he and Iruka had kept their relationship… not secret but private. Iruka had been his place to hide, a place where he could take down his mask, to allow himself to feel vulnerable, to let go and trust Iruka to be the one protecting. It had been a place where he could laugh at every silly thing or cry over nothing. Sometimes, when the world had been too much he had yelled, cursed and screamed and Iruka had been there, sitting quietly, waiting for him to calm down on his own. Which he eventually did and all Iruka said to him afterwards was that Kakashi damn well was going to fix that hole he had made in the wall by himself. That had happen four times and Kakashi still couldn't remember when he had planted his fist through the wall on any of the times. Nevertheless, as a good boy Kakashi had fixed the wall to his best ability, all four times, and only then had he been pulled in to a warm embrace filled with sweet kisses and whispers, promising nothing but love and understanding. A place to hide… a place he didn't have anymore thus was the only option to run.

And whose fault was that again? _Mine… _it had almost been a punishment to himself when he went to Iruka, to let himself see and know what it was he was going to miss. At this point the sun was firmly on its way higher up in the sky, its rays already drying the morning dew making the ground dry and crispy. The dried out leaves and earth was whirled up in the air with every heavy stride Kakashi was taking. The dirt went through his mask and into his nostrils troubling his breathing even more. Iruka was hurting at it was his entire fault. What good was it to be a famous ninja when that was one of the big reasons that made you lose everything, well that and being an arrogant bastard with too high thoughts of yourself. Iruka had only been two months pregnant and still Kakashi had… _why didn't I listen, why didn't I listen!?_ Kakashi's mind was screaming at him making him lose the little concentration he had left. He lost his footing, his body was too tired to be anything but clumsy and Kakashi landed ungracefully on the ground, knocking all the air out of his chest when he wasn't able to buffer the fall with his arms. He lay there panting, closing his eyes. He could smell the dry earth mixed with the usual smell of forest, plants, died leaves and rotting branches. Beneath those smells was the musk and salt from his own sweat drenched body, yet Kakashi caught the smell of something else, something new and something familiar, a faint whisk of chalk, ink and almonds. Iruka. Kakashi let a small grunt escape his lips; it wasn't just the smell of Iruka that invaded his nose. Makenshi was a brief whisk of a warm but rainy day, the kind where it's almost hard to breathe but the raindrops cool you down making you feel tired, and fresh and new altogether. So with the smell of his newborn boy and his only love still lingering in his clothes and dulling his senses, Kakashi picked himself off of the ground and kept running.

_I lay down my head on your pillow and ask for forgiveness_

"We lost track of him for a couple of hours, senpai"

"You LOST track of him?" she whipped her head sharply away from the heavy framed windows. Her angry gaze lingering on two unworthy minions, who dared show they weren't good enough, "I. Do. Not. Like. Failures" she punctuated every word with a sharp click of her tongue. The two ninjas sitting on their knees at the end of her dais didn't dare look at her. She could actually see them trembling. Cowards, useless cowards, "I gave a simple order. Follow the copy ninja wherever he went. As simple as that, and you manage to lose track of him?" again there was the sharp click of her tongue. It was a habit she couldn't hide when her temper overtook her, not that she cared right now. They were in their right minds to tremble, even though it made her think less of them. She was a hard woman to please. "Ouko is following him now, senpai, he's running in the forest, has done for the last couple of hours". So they were trying to hide they failure by showing they had found him again. Running? To what use was that information. She took three long strides gripping the collar of the one who had spoken with both hands, bringing their faces mere inches apart. His name? Who cared.

"Maybe those couple of hours was of great importance, you shitty little fuck, if he was hiding from someone he doesn't even know follows him, it must mean something was significant enough to make the extra effort", she shoved the useless ninja away using very little of her strength, it still sent him flying across the room where he hit the wall. She turned on the other hitting him with a flat hand, the sound bouncing against the walls. "This is a warning, the only warning you will ever get. Be glad that I am in such a fine mood today. Now. Go", she kept her voice low in the end, pleasing herself when her tongue didn't click. The one she had slapped scrambled to his feet and was thoughtful enough to drag the other with him and out the big copper doors and closing them again. Maybe there was some brain in that one. Fine mood indeed, she should have ripped their hearts out. Not with her own hands of course, she had just gotten a manicure. She looked down at her spread fingers, admiring the fine lilac lacquered nails. She was positive those buffoons had missed something very essential, many things could happen in a couple of hours. In the months she had followed him he hadn't done anything but missions, eating, sleeping and just walking around with that ridicules book that was almost like a neon arrow saying 'yes, I am walking right here'. His life couldn't be that boring or social inept. He knew she was watching, well, she didn't expect anything else but still… _whatever are you hiding from me, Hatake?_

_Take what's left of me_

It had taken a long time for Iruka to pull himself together. He had moved to Makenshi's crib and picked the crying boy up, cradling him to his chest. He started rocking him and hummed an improvised tune, trying to calm them both. Iruka was on maternity leave so he didn't have to think on lesson plans, essays, grades or wannabe-ninjas, which was a great relief. He didn't think he had the strength to even get dressed properly.

Iruka was sitting at his kitchen table with a mug of cooling tea in his hands, while Makenshi was lying in a baby lift Iruka had placed on the table. The boy was wide awake watching everything around him with big blue eyes. Iruka leaned over and started to rock the lift gently making Makenshi kick his legs of enjoyment. Iruka couldn't help but smile, "we're gonna be fine, aren't we? Just the two of us", Makenshi sneezed, "yeah, I didn't think so either". Iruka took a sip from his tea and frowned, cold tea was not a pleasant thing. He took a deep breath and got up from the table and poured the tea out in the sink, he stood and watched it disappear down the drain.


End file.
